Hi. I’m Amerdeep!

Why Amerdeep? Apart from being my name, trying to think of something catchy was hurting my brain. Also, nigh on impossible.

In the Sikh tradition, names are chosen by going to the Gurdwara (temple) and a letter is selected from the Guru Granth Sahib (holy book). So, it is divinely chosen.

In Sikhism my name means immortal lamp, everlasting light.
The meaning of my name is what I try to embody. Life can be dark and sometimes there are people around you, who shine a light in your darkness. Sometimes you find it within yourself, to be your own light, when you need it.

I have spent most of my 30’s searching for answers and cures to heal my body physically and emotionally. I write what I know as I truly believe in the power of words and pictures.

This wouldn’t be my page without a funny story. My name is different on my birth certificate by one letter. I didn’t discover this discrepancy until I was 17 years old. My twin brother says we were applying for our driving license. All I knew was I was Amerdeep despite what my birth certificate said of Amardeep. My mum hadn’t noticed this. In her defence raising 4 children alone, grieving and a business, was tough enough.

When I was 8 years old, we moved house and I was given a name plate for my door. You know the ones that go x’s room, that you get in a gift shop. Except this wasn’t from a gift shop because of the obvious. You didn’t get Amerdeep or Amardeep in a gift shop. In any case I looked at it and thought, they have my name wrong, Amardeep. I remember being really annoyed at 8 years old. I thought no, this is me, I am Amerdeep. That is who I have been ever since. It feels like I have spent my life trying to become myself.

I struggled in my life to talk about things I had been through. Mainly for fear people would say, really? A person can’t go through that much. However, its only been by sharing my experiences and listening to others, I can see, my fear was born out of trauma.

So, bits about me. I was raised in a single parent household, my dad passed away when I was young, I have the best twin brother and I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia a few years ago. I have been on the spiritual path since 2015 after a life changing trip to Italy. This helped me to see there were other ways to live in the world. It opened my eyes to the fact I had spent a lot of my life hiding who I was, out of not feeling safe.

I have spent the last 6 years trying every type of healing and cure to heal my body. I have spent a lot of time healing trauma and healing my emotional self. At the time of writing this, October 2021, I have been working with a health coach for the last few months to heal my body and also worked with a coach/therapist for the last year to work through the emotional stuff.

I am still on my healing journey. However, one loses sight of how far they have come until they stop and look back. When I started this journey in 2015 to now, I have travelled light years. So, welcome to my page, where I share that with you. I hope my journey inspires you and helps you to feel less alone. You have a friend here, who understands what you are going through.